PRECIOUS GIFT
Cancer almost robbed me of my dream – but two strangers made me a mum-of-four
KREENA Dhiman, 41, is an accountant and lives in West Sussex with husband Satty, 42, an analyst, and their daughter Amaala, two, and triplets Aanav, Arvaarn and Anaayan, five months.
Here, she reveals how two strangers made her dream to become a mum come true after chemotherapy left her infertile.
Kissing my children goodnight, I still can’t believe I’m a mother of four, after cancer almost robbed me of my dream.
My husband Satty and I had always been keen to have a family. We met as teenagers working in a bank during the summer holidays and married 13 years later in 2010.
But in August 2013, aged 33, I started getting pains in my left breast and my left nipple became inverted. I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and doctors at The Royal Marsden hospital told me it was likely I’d be left infertile from chemo.
They advised us to have IVF before my cancer treatment. It was physically and emotionally gruelling, but we ended up with 12 embryos to freeze. I was so scared that I’d created those little lives, but didn’t know if I would survive to see them born.
I had chemotherapy, radiotherapy, a double mastectomy and reconstruction, and in early 2015, we were so relieved when I was told I was in remission.
I knew that if I was to become pregnant with one of our embryos I’d have to come off my medication – which I needed to take for 10 years to stop the cancer returning. So Satty and I decided surrogacy was a safer option. In the UK, you can’t pay surrogates a fee, only expenses, but agencies charge high fees and have long waiting lists, so we turned to the online community.
In August 2016, we met Ina, now 39, a mum of two from Bath who was in a relationship at the time. She said she’d always wanted to help create a family for someone else.
We sorted a written agreement, had health checks with our GPs, and a year later one of the embryos was transferred. We were overjoyed when we found out she was pregnant, and family and friends were supportive.
I was very involved in the pregnancy, going to all the scans. I was so grateful and trusted that Ina only wanted to be our surrogate, not the baby’s mother.
When Amaala was born on April 27, 2018, Satty and I were there. Holding our baby, I felt a rush of maternal love.
We applied to the family courts to have Ina’s name removed from the birth certificate and mine added, though Satty was already down as the father, but we promised to stay in touch with Ina so Amaala would know how she’d come into the world.
Within a few months, we knew we wanted another baby. Ina’s circumstances had changed, so we began looking for another surrogate. In September 2019, we found Laura, now 37, a mum of two, after meeting through a friend in the surrogacy community.
We were devastated to find out our remaining embryos were unusable, so we had private IVF using donor eggs. In February 2020 and at a cost of £50,000 including expenses, two embryos were transferred into Laura, which meant there was a higher chance of success – and the possibility of twins.
Five days later, Laura sent a photo of a positive pregnancy test. I couldn’t attend her first viability scan in March 2020, due to the pandemic, so when she called to tell us we were having triplets – because one of the eggs had split – I was speechless, but so happy.
I was shielding because chemo had left me with a heart problem, so we had to rely on FaceTime, though I did attend Laura’s 20-week scan in June. She went into premature labour at 30 weeks on August 23 last year and the babies were born safely by emergency caesarean.
We had to have Covid tests and wait an agonising 12 hours for the results before meeting our three sons, each weighing around 3lb. Aanav, Arvaarn and Anaayan had to stay in NICU for eight weeks until they were strong enough to come home on October 14, 2020.
Life with four kids under three is tiring but wonderful – and not cheap! We’ve had to buy three of everything, from cots to bouncers, and we’re saving for a minivan as our car is too small for us all.
We have to be strict with routines, though we get help from Satty’s mum and sister, who are in our chidcare bubble. Amaala is an amazing big sister and although life is non-stop, we are so happy to have four beautiful children.
Ina was at Amaala’s first birthday, and I often send both surrogates photos of the kids. I can’t wait for Laura to be able to visit when restrictions are lifted. Without them both our family wouldn’t exist.”
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/13906571/cancer-nearly-robbed-me-of-motherhood-dream/
